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alice said i was only allowed ice cream if i promised not to listen to gangnam style but i refuse to compromise 

You: would be gutted if you did a successful text post and it was in this chat format so your url doesn't show on it follow www.hotsuburbandad.tumblr.com

perogis:

i just ate four plates of pasta and an ice cream shake

i told your boyfriend i often think about sitting on his face and i am very sorry i didnt realize he was in a relationship BC I DIDNT EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO CHECK HIS LINKS!! IM SORRY!!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER IM SORRY BYE!!!!!
Anonymous

cooldudebabe:

awwh thats ok man I know that feel hehe its just a weird sitch I dont blame ya personally tho whoever u are

lmao

cooldudebabe:

Petition for anonymous tumblr users to stop trying to have sex with/marry/sit on my bf through asks you can be as astrologically compatible as you like hes mine

a powerful combination 

i wanna be ur friend // mutual so bad
Anonymous

tbh i follow people back at random times have a good url a good blog and a tagged/me and i prolly will eventually sorry im v lazy

How tall are you? I bet your not short. You are also very attractive and funny sir, I would like to marry you or maybe something.
Anonymous

im 5ft 6 so maybe not short and thank u :3

What do you mean you asked her and she said no?
Anonymous

tbh i made that up. her jokes ‘cant be written down’ ¬†

Do you have a girlfriend?
Anonymous

i asked her and she said no

I want to rub mustard on you, you saucy gnome.
Anonymous

please i am not

Ok, may I suck your dick?
Anonymous

you should have done that in lunch break half an hour ago

cum in my mouth, baby!
Anonymous

honky honk

Will you be my beautiful human toilet?
Anonymous

im watching a playlist of the top 100 most popular youtube videos today and its almost as grim as this message

theme